It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
