So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
