No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize