apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
