real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You left your phone here
Wait...
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