so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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