no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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