just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
