my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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