I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
