I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
