I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Did I show you my penis last night?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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