wake up i wanna do it froggy style
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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