Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
