I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
