after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
