I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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