if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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