I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
