I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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