So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize