I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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