I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
