Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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