the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
