i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
