After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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