well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
