5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I think my moral compass just broke
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize