I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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