oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
