He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
