you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
