Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize