the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
pop tarts are not kleenex
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
