Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
