so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
