so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Randomize
