Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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