I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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