Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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