i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
