My room smells like vodka and shame
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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