Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(316): View more from Kansas

I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper

(785): View more from Kansas

He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.

Fav 12 4914 1961
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(971): View more from Oregon

you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON

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(863): View more from Florida

She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy

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