Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
