Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
