Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
