I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
