Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
