Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize