i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
