Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize