Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
