Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
