I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
