STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You were trust falling into bushes
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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