I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
