I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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