? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
