need another drink. this is the easiest way
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
