just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
