The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize