Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize