New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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