Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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