Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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